


A Love Like War

by inmcc



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I'm just messing around really, M/M, haikyuu!! - Freeform, it's not even an AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 04:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3367016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmcc/pseuds/inmcc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sort of AU where everything's the same except the Kagehina is a lot stronger. And then hints of other romances too, I guess? Idk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Just Want You Back

**Author's Note:**

> Crawls out of the shadows to post this silly Haikyuu!! fic I wrote while watching a documentary about octupus, cause I'm weird like that.
> 
> Also title from a song by All Time Low.

   Even though he’d _really_ tried to, Kageyama just couldn’t keep ignoring the fact that Hinata and Yachi kept getting closer and closer to one another. Like, _really_ close.

   They smiled at the simple sight of each other, they walked home together, and even now, as they played against Nekoma and Hinata fidgeted in his spot, eager to get back on the court, Yachi kept sending him calming looks from Karasuno’s bench.

   I mean, sure, Kageyama had always felt like it was a bit of a treason when Hinata paid more attention to anyone other than he. He, who made his quick strikes possible. He, who made him the best decoy. He, who made him a true crow.

   But this proximity Hinata and Yachi had developed was what you’d call going to extremes.

   “Oi! King!” Kageyama was drawn back to reality by his least friendly teammate – the one-ninety metres tall Tsukishima. “Get that dumb head of yours in the game!”

   Kageyama glanced at the score board.

   First set. 23-11.

   They really were doing badly. Nekoma was on its fifth consecutive serve and making their way to the sixth. But there was nothing Kageyama could do about it.

Every time he tried to focus on the opponents in front of him, on the friends that fought beside him, on the wall he was meant to clear; his thoughts would just involuntarily slip to the red haired boy. Not just Hinata, as a figure, but everything about him; his excited screams, his amazing jumps, his messy receives…

   No, that was it, he couldn’t keep going like that.

Clenching his jaw with regret, Kageyama raised his hand for attention.

   “I… I’d like to… I’d like to call for a member change.”

   The whole court dropped silent. Cats and crows stared at him with astonished expressions.

   “Huh?” Kageyama heard Tanaka wonder behind him. “Kageyama doesn’t want to play anymore?”

   But Kageyama ignored him. As calm as he managed, the prodigy setter made his way to the bench where Suga’s number two sign laid still. Against his will, Kageyama raised it high up in the air so everyone could see it. Then, he turned to Suga.

   “Senpai, please take my place.”

   Suga eyed Kageyama worriedly but he nodded in agreement, nonetheless. If anyone, Suga would know that something was up with Kageyama, even if the boy himself could not tell what exactly was wrong. Why he kept being distracted.

   Although, none of that mattered. Not really. Volleyball. That’s what mattered. Kageyama had to find a way to get rid of his thoughts and distractions – _distraction_ – and that way was to be as far away from Hinata as he possibly could.

   “Kageyama,” Coach Ukai called him. “Is anything wrong? Are you feeling okay?”

   Kageyama was about to dodge the question and give the coach a quick yes, but realizing that staying to watch the rest of the game would solve nothing, he changed his answer.

   “Actually, I’m feeling a bit sick, Sensei. Could I please go home earlier?”

   The Coach eyed him for a while, doubtful, but Kageyama _must’ve_ looked bothered, as Ukai nodded in the end.

   “Thank you.”

   Going home meant catching the train on his own, which, on its turn, meant there was no time to lose, or Kageyama would lose the next train. So, as quickly as he could, Kageyama collected his few items from the bench – his towel, his water bottle and his sports bag -, and headed for Nekoma’s gym door.

   “OI! Where do you think you’re going?!”

   Kageyama didn’t so much as turn to face Hinata. With one hand on the door knob, he simply said, “None of your business,” and stepped outside, slamming the door behind him. Not that he made it far before he heard it being opened again.

   “None of my business? _None_ of my business?! Of course it’s my business!”

   Had Kageyama not been so pissed at himself, he might have smirked at the high pitch on Hinata’s voice as the red haired screamed at the top of his lungs.

   “And why’s that?” Again, Kageyama did not bother to turn around and face Hinata. Not that he thought he could anyway. Not without losing control of his own thoughts once again.

   “You must be really dumb if you need to ask.”

   “Maybe I am.”

   By his shadow, Kageyama could watch Hinata turn his hands into fists, clearly annoyed by his setter’s lack of response. On any other day, Kageyama would have already grabbed Hinata by his collar and threatened to never ever pass to him again. Hinata and his stupid habit of always being such a pain in the ass…

   “Look, I don’t know what is up with you, but you must know that _I need you_ on that court. You must know that I need your passes, your skill, your determination.

   “Suga can do all that.” Kageyama noted, but Hinata kept going over him.

   “ _You must know_ that only you can give me the pinpoint precision I need… You must know that, without all that, I will _never_ be the ace.”

   At that moment Hinata’s voice sounded so fragile that it only helped to turn Kageyama even angrier than he already was.

   “Then maybe you’ll never be the ace!” As soon as he said it, though, Kageyama wanted to take his words back.

He knew that the words he’d spoken were the most offensive words anyone could ever say to Hinata – the worst words _he_ could say to Hinata. But instead of taking them back, Kageyama left his poisoning sentence hang in the air. Allowed it to hurt the only person who had ever cared.

   “You...!”

   All of a sudden, Hinata’s shadow moved, merging with Kageyama’s on stone ground. As the short boy got closer and closer to him, Kageyama readied himself for whatever was to come: Pain? More screaming?

   But nothing ever came. Behind them, through the still opened door, the only voice that could ever get to them sounded firm and impatient.

   “Hinata,” Daichi called out. “Get back inside. You’re needed in the game.”

   For a moment, Hinata just stood in place, as though trying to decide whether he was going to defy Daichi’s orders or not, but then, finally, Kageyama watched his shadow turn around and listened to his light steps as Hinata made his way back into the gym.

   In a much lower and tired voice, Daichi spoke, “I hope you know what you’re doing, Kageyama. I really do.”

* * *

   Kageyama managed to keep his thoughts at bay on the ride back home by putting on his earphones and turning the volume up to its maximum. But there was no way to spare himself from reality once he’d reached Karasuno High.

   Unconsciously, his feet had taken him to their school gym, where he felt the most comfortable. But quiet as it was, the gym only brought to him even more memories of the fight he’d just had. Figuring there was only one way to fix that, Kageyama helped himself to a few volleyballs and started slamming them against the wall.

   But the balls didn’t carry nearly has much force as they usually did. His anger had gone by then and his mixed feelings about what he’d done made him only sloppy.

   _Then maybe you’ll never be the ace!_

   What had he even been thinking to say something that hurtful? Usually he was the one to claim that, with Kageyama by his side, Hinata could be anything.

   But lately it hadn’t felt like they were side by side anymore.

   It was more like Hinata and Yachi were two sides of the same coin and Kageyama was just something left out. Maybe the carrier of the coin? The one that made use of it, but that made no difference whatsoever to the coin itself?

   And then there was Hinata’s words too.

   _You must know that, without all that, I will_ never _be the ace._

How dare he say such thing, when his greatest quality was the faith he carried in his chest, the belief that anything was possible, if only one tried hard enough. How dare Hinata put himself down, when it was his confidence that Kageyama liked best about him?

   In a brief moment of rage, Kageyama slammed another volleyball against the wall, harder than he’d slammed any of the others. So hard that the ball came bouncing back straight at his face, making Kageyama fall back, butt first, onto the floor.

   Too tired and too angry to stand up, the setter let himself stay where he was and enjoy the coldness of the wooden floor. He could feel the blood dripping from his nose, a side effect of the blow he’d given himself, but he did nothing to clean it. Eventually, the bleeding would stop.

 

   He lied there for so long, that the light coming from the outside turned from bright yellow, to orange, to the tin white light of the stars. The game must have ended by then, and his teammates must have been on their way there, still Kageyama did not move. He laid there, where the floor was cold enough to distract him from what was to come.

   But, if anything, that day had showed him that ignorance can’t last forever.

   As the quiet voices sounded outside, Kageyama stood up and collected the balls he’d left hanging around. He placed the last one back in the cart just as Tanaka opened the door.

   “Told you he’d be here!” He shouted to the others behind him.

   The voices sounded a little more energetic and Daichi entered the gym, smacking his fist hard against Tanaka’s head as he passed by him.

   “Keep it down, you idiot.”

   Which was followed by, “Daichi, don’t hit him…” as Suga too joined the party.

   As it seemed, everyone had come, even Tsukishima and Yamaguchi – everyone but Hinata, really. Kageyama swallowed down a bad feeling.

   “Where is he?” He asked, not needing to be specific as he gave Suga a pleading look.

   “Took his bike and went home,” Daichi said, “claimed he wasn’t hungry enough to come out and eat with us.”

   Kageyama’s heart skipped a bit. Hinata was _always_ hungry enough; more than enough, to be fair. But for him to say something like that… _what had Kageyama done?_

   Feeling sure of his actions for the first time that day, Kageyama put his coat on and headed for the door.

   But Karasuno Volleyball Team wasn’t about to let him screw up again. Together, they all stood in line, with Asahi right in front of the door, so that Kageyama would have no chances of jinking past them.

   “Let me through,” he nearly begged the tall, glass hearted guy. But Nishinoya must have been the one to instruct Asahi not to move, as the third year didn’t even flinch at Kageyama’s pleading voice.

   “You don’t understand.” Kageyama continued, “I have to fix-“

   “What you did?” Nishinoya asked, sounding far more offensive than Kageyama expected him to. The last time their libero had sounded like that dated back to when he refused to be part of the team without Asahi. “Yeah, we know you do. But first we need to know you actually _intend_ to fix things.”

   “What do you mean? Of course I intend to fix things!”

   Kageyama knew Nishinoya and Hinata were quite protective of one another, but to imply that Kageyama _meant_ to hurt Hinata was going too far.

   “Then promise us you’ll tell Hinata what’s really bothering you, _how you really feel_.”

   Kageyama shook his head in confusion. Tell Hinata what he really felt? Like, angry…? One would think Hinata would have picked up on that already. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

   “Would surprise me if you did…”

   “Tsukishima!” Daichi snapped, making Kageyama jump. He’d completely forgotten he’d left Suga and Daichi behind him when he headed for the door.

   “Well, _someone’s_ got to make him understand. I don’t know why you all don’t just tell him straight to his King’s face.”

   “Tsukishima, I’m warning you!”

   Tsukishima raised his hands up in the air. Even that idiot knew that pissing Daichi off was never a good idea.

   “Fine, then.” Tsukishima said, stepping off his spot beside Asahi. “Yamaguchi, let’s go.”

   “Actually, Tsukki, I’m staying.”

   At that time, Tsukishima was not the only one to be surprised. The entire Karasuno Volleyball Team, or, at least, the present members, stared at Yamaguchi in amazement. He rarely ever stepped up against his beloved Tsukishima.

   “What did you say?”

   “I’m sorry, Tsukki, but this isn’t just about Kageyama. It’s about Hinata too, and, for once, I’d like to repay him for all the help he’s given me. _He’s given us._ ”

   Tsukishima was silent for a moment, as though struggling with his own feelings, but at last, he decided to simply shrug it off and leave the gym with a “Fine, do as you want.”

   Tsukishima’s departure meant that the attentions were turned back to Kageyama again, though, which the latter was expecting to avoid, in the hopes that he’d manage to leave sooner. The longer he stayed here, without talking to Hinata, without solving things, the hurter Hinata would feel.

   “Kageyama,” Suga called his name, forcing the first year setter to look back at his Senpai. “We cannot let you go if all you will do is hurt Hinata even further.”

   Even Suga believed he’d done it intentionally?!

   “ _I don’t want to hurt him!_ ” Kageyama’s voice was no more than a whispered plea. Why did everyone think he meant to do wrong?

   “Hey, calm down. We know you don’t.” All of a sudden, Suga was at his side, patting his shoulder. “But, Kageyama, we don’t think you understand what you’re really feeling.”

   Why did they keep saying that? Of course he understood what he felt. He felt frustrated and angry. He felt scared. He felt so scared, thinking that if he couldn’t get a hold on this stupid situation he’d never be able to play volleyball again. Not really. Not as he always had.

   “You making him cry, Suga!” Ennoshita exclaimed, still not leaving his place in the line. Had Kageyama not been so confused and upset, he might have been amazed at how disciplined they all were. “And is that blood on his face?!”

   As it seemed, Suga had noticed the blood too, even in the dim light of the gym, but he’d decided there were more important things to discuss. He shot a glance at Ennoshita that quickly quieted their second year player.

   “Kageyama, listen to me,” Suga said, cleaning the tears on Kageyama’s eyes. “You are going up that mountain to Hinata’s house, and as you walk, you’ll think of what’s really bothering you okay? Not what you think is _standing in your way_ but what really makes you _angry._ Promise?”

   Surprised at Suga’s words, Kageyama took a while to agree. But, eventually, he nodded. If anything, so that at least they’d let him go. None of what they were saying made any sense, anyway. There was no point in staying behind and trying to understand them.

   “Then let him through.” Suga ordered.

   “Suga-”

   “Daichi, don’t you trust me?”

   And so, with a sigh and a brief nod from Daichi, Kageyama left in a rush, leaving his teammates to worry about whether or not Kageyama would be able to figure his own feelings out.


	2. The Cure for a Huge Storm is a Tiny Crow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kageyama figures his stuff out and I run a little out of his initial motives, because yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I have a whole other AU (also Haikyuu!!) planned but still working on it, so I decided to finish this chapter sooner before I crawl back into the shadows and figure out the other AU.

 

 

   Okay, Kageyama had to say it: he was glad he’d decided to become a volleyball player and not a mountain hiker. This stupid, never ending slope was killing him! How did Hinata even climb it every freaking day?! No wonder he had so much energy stored…

   But point was, the mountain made Kageyama slower and light was running out quickly. Not to mention the weather channel had confirmed a storm for that night. If he didn’t find Hinata’s place soon, he was done for.

   So Kageyama kept walking. And walking. And walking.

   He walked for so long that at some point it startled to drizzle, the light rain wetting Kageyama’s gym coat and making him tremble with the cold, even if only slightly. Not that that was enough to stop him. If Kageyama had made it that far, he sure could make it to the end.

   His spirits, however, weren’t as high up when the first thunderstorm sounded and the rain began to fall harder. It wasn’t that Kageyama was _afraid_ of thunderstorms; of course not. He just wasn’t fond of being outside when those stupid blue lightning bolts came out to have some fun, kill some people…

   It was better if he picked up pace anyway, right? Didn’t want to disturb Hinata’s family after they went to bed or something…

 

   Luckily, in this new speed, Kageyama found Hinata’s house in no time. He identified it immediately, even if he’d never been there. The garden, covered in white snow, had volleyballs spread all over, and on the trunk of cherry tree that they’d grow outside, a tiny crow figure had been carefully carved.

   Gathering up all his courage, Kageyama soundlessly jumped past the gate and made it up to the porch, where he knocked hard, trying to make himself heard over the sounds of the storm.

   In no time, the door opened and a little girl in a blue pyjamas came outside, allowing the rain to sparkle her short red hair.

   “Shouyou!” The girl screamed, looking fairly amused. “There’s a boy out here who looks pretty scary but who also looks like he got his butt kicked, so not so scary… Also, he’s wearing your uniform.”

   Kageyama was confused for a moment, wondering what Hinata’s sister had meant with “looks like he got his butt kicked” but then recalled his bleeding nose. He tried cleaning it with the tip of his wet sleeve, but no luck now that the blood had dried.

   “Natsu.” The girl and Kageyama both looked past the door where a red eyed Hinata stood at the top a stair set. He didn’t appear to be all that pleased at the sight of Kageyama. “Get back inside.”

   Natsu waved Kageyama goodbye and did as her brother said, while Hinata made his way outside. He eyed Kageyama with a defying look, as though daring his setter to repeat the words he’d said that evening.

But Kageyama didn’t even process half of that. From the moment he’d seen Hinata and his red, clearly from crying, eyes, his mind processed only one thing; that’d he’d rather go back into the cold and face the raging storm than to witness the damage he’d done.

   “Well now, are you just going to stand there?”

   Kageyama was snapped out of his dilemma by Hinata’s impatient voice. Had such a kind hearted person ever sounded that threatening? But yes… Yes it had. When they’d played against Seijou. Now that he thought about, Kageyama could perfectly recall the time when had Hinata stood up for him against Oikawa.

Had Kageyama become like that? Like the person that Oikawa was and that he hated so much? And if he had, was there any going back from that? Did he really deserve any forgiveness? Or had he climbed this hellish mountain just to be told what he’d always known, that he was a horrible person who deserved no friends.

   “I’m going back inside…” Hinata said, meaninglessly, of course, as his voice dragged and a look worry crossed his face.

   Kageyama couldn’t help but to notice how Hinata’s eyes stopped to stare at the blood on his face, and how he pinched his lips, as though restraining himself from asking about it.

“Wait!”

Unconsciously, Kageyama reached for Hinata’s warm and tiny fingers, wrapping his cold ones around Hinata’s hand. A movement so sudden, yet so natural that it shocked them both.

   But, despite the shock and the slight embarrassment – not the mention the increase on his heart rate -, Kageyama did not let go. Not if it kept Hinata there, with him. Not if it kept himself safe from the raging storm.

   “I… I’m… I don’t…” Kageyama breathed out. There was no point in delaying it. If anything, it’d only make things worse. He had to apologise now. “I don’t want to be the carrier anymore.”

   _What?_

   “What?”

   But once he’d started, Kageyama just couldn’t bring himself to stop anymore. As it turned out, this speaking your mind business was a lot easier than they all had made it look at the gym. Than _Su_ ga had made it seemed. _Suga, the calming one._

   “I don’t want to be the carried anymore,” Kageyama repeated. “I want to be the coin, you see. Not just _any_ coin. _Your coin_. Or the coin that you are. I want to be the other side of it. But I’m not. Or at least, I don’t feel like I am.”

   “Kagey-“

   “I feel like I’m just the carrier. But like I said, I don’t want to be the carrier anymore. Because the carrier doesn’t really matter, does it? What is a carrier without a coin? But a coin without a carrier? It is still a coin. Still so valuable. Still-“

   “Kageyama stop!” Kageyama jumped off his feet and looked into Hinata’s eyes, figuring that he’d upset the tiny jumper. But why? Hadn’t he done just like Suga had told him to? Hadn’t he told him what was really bothering him? “You’re not making any sense.”

   Kageyama sighed. _Then maybe it was hard to speak your mind_.

   He let go of Hinata’s hand and sat down on the porch.

   “I don’t know how to make any sense out of this,” Kageyama whispered, more to himself than to Hinata, but surprising them both nonetheless. But more surprising still, was Hinata’s reaction.

   The red haired boy, who until then looked so upset and hurt, finally smiled. A tiny, hidden smile, but a smile nonetheless. And as he smiled, he let himself fall down onto the wet floor as well.

   “Just tell me what you’re really thinking.” Hinata begged, his voice as quiet as Kageyama’s whispered words were.

   “I just did.” Kageyama said in return.

   “Well I didn’t get it, so explain it better, you idiot.”

   Kageyama laughed. He really was an idiot. He’d climbed his way up this hellish mountain, _while_ a raging storm threatened to kill him with its murderous lightning bolts. And what for? Just to make a person who couldn’t so much as understand a stupid metaphor smile again?

   “You’re thinking to yourself again, you know.”

   Kageyama looked down at Hinata’s face. His smile was gone, his expression hardened. Had he done that, just now?

   “Well I can’t think to you, you dumbass. It doesn’t work like that.”

“You can tell me what you were thinking about.”

   “I was thinking I wanted to see you smile.” Maybe it was the rain and the freezing weather getting to him, perhaps a possible cold coming, but right then, to answer such a simple plea, Kageyama came up with the truth.

   And there it was. The smile he so much longed for. Just like that.

   _So he had done it._ He’d been responsible for Hinata’s change of moods too. But how did he even possess such power?

   “And what were you thinking during the game?”

   Again, caught up in the momentum, Kageyama spoke the first and truthful words that reached his mouth.

   “I was thinking that I didn’t want someone else to make you smile.”

   Hinata shook his head, confused.

   “I don’t get it. Do you want me to smile or not.”

   Kageyama sighed.

   “I told you already. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to be the other side of shiny coin. The heads to your tails.”

   Hinata opened his mouth to reply, but he shut it almost immediately. How uncharacteristic… Kageyama was about to ask if anything was wrong when an especially strong lightning bolt shook the ground below them, making Kageyama shiver and quail.

   “Kageyama…?” Hinata asked, confused. “What’s up?”

   A few more of those terrifying blasts sounded before Kageyama could force the fear out of him and stop the persistent trembling of his body.

   “I’m not… particularly fond… of thunderstorms.”

   Hinata laughed quietly and approached the dark haired boy. “C’mere.”

   With no further warning, Hinata had become all arms and legs, wrapped around all over Kageyama, as though he could protect his setter from Mother Nature herself. Well, if anyone, Hinata sure was one to think he could.

   For a moment, they stood like that – Kageyama too scared to talk and Hinata too determined to keep Kageyama safe. But it _wasn’t_ like they weren’t in the middle of something.

   “So you want to be with me…?” Hinata wondered, still trying to make sense out of Kageyama’s words. “Wait, no. Not just _with_ me, but _part_ of me.”

   “Huh? Disgusting.” Kageyama noted, making them both shake with laugher. He was so shrunken and uncomfortable that he couldn’t even tell which side Hinata’s head was. So he spoke to the tiny guy’s chest, the body part that was right in front of him.

   “But yes, I want to be more than just your setter.”

   Again, silence followed, as Hinata took his time to interiorize Kageyama’s words. For a fraction of second there, Kageyama could swear he’d felt Hinata’s heart beating faster. Or was it just another lightning bolt? He just wished the storm would go away already…

   Kageyama was so distracted by his own thoughts – as usual – that he’d barely noticed Hinata shifting his position. Only when Hinata’s face appeared right in front of him, did Kageyama began to realize the sudden increase of his heart rate. But even then, there was barely time to register that change, or the way that Hinata’s eyes now shone with a new intensity, different from the one they did when he performed one of his astounding quick strikes. There was barely time to _respond_ to that change, before Hinata closed the distance between the both of them.

   It was a shy, sloppy and embarrassing kiss, like everything they tried together for the first time; but it made them both proud nonetheless. It was, after all a new “move”, they just had to perfect it.

“I really don’t think you could do anything else, though,” Hinata finally said, once they pulled back. “You know, with the ‘no touching the ball twice’ thingy. Also, you taste like blood.”

   “Oh shut up, you dumbass,” Kageyama snapped, in return. But he didn’t sound offensive at all. If anything, he sounded as pleased as when he shot that first dunk against Oikawa.

   “You’re so dense!”

   “And you’re so-“

   “Handsome? Amazing?” Hinata offered, sticking his tongue out, in his usual gesture.

   Kageyama laughed, yet he did not deny it. Hinata was all that, and much, much more.

   “I was going for so full of yourself, but sure, take it the way you want it.”

   Hinata laughed and stood up, rubbing his sore muscles from having stood in his awkward position for so long.

   “Where are you going?” Kageyama asked, on a rough try of hiding his disappointment.

   “The storm’s gone, there’s no reason for me to stay there.” Hinata explained, as he headed for the door.

   Was it really? Kageyama listened out for the sound of thunders falling, but Hinata was right, the storm had gone. It was just plain, hard rain now. Not that that made him any more willing to go back out there.

   “Oh, ok-“

   “I’m not saying you can’t follow though.”

   Surprising Hinata with his own smile too, Kageyama joined his personal ace near the door and kissed him for a while – okay, a long while – before he finally realised what Suga had meant, what he was truly feeling. Turns out, it wasn’t half as bad as they’d made it look. Turns out, it was just a love like war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't end stories, so this turned out slightly cheesier than I thought?? Idk.  
> Hope you liked it though!
> 
> And again, please tell me what you think!:)


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